You might think that venting your anger is healthy, that the people around you are too sensitive, that your anger is justified, or that you need to show your fury to get respect. But the truth is that anger is much more likely to have a negative impact on the way people see you, impair your judgment, and get in the way of success.
Anger Isn’t A Right, It’s A Choice
Fact: You can't always control the situation you're in or how it makes you feel, but you can control how you express your anger. And you can communicate your feelings without being verbally or physically abusive. Even if someone is pushing your buttons, you always have a choice about how to respond.
Mastering the art of anger management takes work, but the more you practice, the easier it will get. And the payoff is huge. Learning to control your anger and express it appropriately will help you build better relationships, achieve your goals, and lead a healthier, more satisfying life.
Anger problems can stem from what you learned as a child. If you watched others in your family scream, hit each other, or throw things, you might think this is how anger is supposed to be expressed.
While you might feel that you just explode into anger without warning, there are in fact physical warning signs in your body. Becoming aware of your own personal signs that your temper is starting to boil allows you to take steps to manage your anger before it gets out of control.
Once you know how to recognize the warning signs that your temper is rising and anticipate your triggers, you can act quickly to deal with your anger before it spins out of control. There are many techniques that can help you cool down and keep your anger in check.
Be smart about alcohol and drugs. They lower your inhibitions and can make it even harder to control your anger. Even consuming too much caffeine can make you more irritable and prone to anger.
Therapy, either group or individual, can be a great way to explore the reasons behind your anger and identify triggers. Therapy can also provide a safe place to practice new skills for expressing anger.
Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. You could be angry at a specific person (such as a coworker or supervisor) or event (a traffic jam, a canceled flight), or your anger could be caused by worrying or brooding about your personal problems. Memories of traumatic or enraging events can also trigger angry feelings.
The instinctive, natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats; it inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviors, which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger, therefore, is necessary to our survival.
There are psychological tests that measure the intensity of angry feelings, how prone to anger you are, and how well you handle it. But chances are good that if you do have a problem with anger, you already know it. If you find yourself acting in ways that seem out of control and frightening, you might need help finding better ways to deal with this emotion.
If you feel that your anger is really out of control, if it is having an impact on your relationships and on important parts of your life, you might consider counseling to learn how to handle it better. A psychologist or other licensed mental health professional can work with you in developing a range of techniques for changing your thinking and your behavior.
Anger is a natural human experience, and sometimes there are valid reasons to get mad like feeling hurt by something someone said or did or experiencing frustration over a situation at work or home. But uncontrolled anger can be problematic for your personal relationships and for your health.
Whatever shape it takes, uncontrolled anger can negatively affect physical health and emotional wellbeing. Research shows that anger and hostility can increase people's chances of developing coronary heart disease, and lead to worse outcomes in people who already have heart disease. Anger can also lead to stress-related problems including insomnia, digestive problems and headaches.
If you continue to feel overwhelmed, consult with a psychologist or other licensed mental health professional who can help you learn how to control your anger. He or she can help you identify problem areas and then develop an action plan for changing them.
It's very normal to ask, "Why me?" and be angry at the cancer. You may also feel anger or resentment towards your health care providers, your healthy friends, and your loved ones. And if you're religious, you may even feel angry with God.
If you feel angry, you don't have to pretend that everything is okay. It's not healthy to keep it inside you. Talk with your family and friends about your anger. Or, ask your doctor to refer you to a counselor. And know that anger can be helpful in that it may motivate you to take action.
If you feel guilty, know that many people with cancer feel this way. You may blame yourself for upsetting the people you love or worry that you're a burden in some way. Or you may envy other people's good health and be ashamed of this feeling. You might even blame yourself for lifestyle choices that you think could have led to your cancer.
People have found that when they express strong feelings like anger or sadness, they're more able to let go of them. Some sort out their feelings by talking to friends or family, other cancer survivors, a support group, or a counselor. But even if you prefer not to discuss your cancer with others, you can still sort out your feelings by thinking about them or writing them down.
Anger can also help us to ensure the safety of others. For instance, seeing children exploited, taken advantage of, or unable to protect themselves can make us angry, and that anger can drive us to help or work to protect them.
Anger gets a bad rap because of the damage it can cause if uncontrolled. But trying to bury your anger can backfire. Unexpressed and ignored emotions do not to disappear but rather find small fissures to erupt through at inopportune times.
Choice #2. You can choose how you express your anger. The initial experience of feeling angry can be intense and make you want to lash out and say or do things that can be very damaging. But you have a choice about what you do with your angry feelings. This can be difficult for many people and really learning how to manage your anger response can take time, practice, and patience.
For instance, if your partner cheats you will feel a variety of emotions and anger will be one of them. But long-term anger over the situation is more likely diverting your attention from the pain and problems that led to the cheating. So, choosing to move past the anger and focus on healing the pain is a healthier plan.
Of course, all of these choices can be difficult. Sometimes you have to make them repeatedly and try repeatedly before they stick. And sometimes you may need the help of a counselor to even see the choices that are available to you and how to make them effectively.
If you are a person who experiences anger frequently the biggest choice you have is how to manage it. While there may be underlying reasons why you anger so easily and often, when you are working through those things you still need to find a way to effectively manage your anger.
So, is anger a choice? No. We all experience emotions and those come in response to the circumstances in which we find ourselves. But do you have choices when it comes to anger? Yes, absolutely. And the choices you make when it comes to the anger you feel may be some of the most impactful to your life.
Being hurt by someone, particularly someone you love and trust, can cause anger, sadness and confusion. If you dwell on hurtful events or situations, grudges filled with resentment and hostility can take root. If you allow negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by bitterness or a sense of injustice.
The constant flood of stress chemicals and associated metabolic changes that go with ongoing unmanaged anger can eventually cause harm to many different systems of the body. Some of the short and long-term health problems that have been linked to unmanaged anger include:
People who are stressed are more likely to experience anger. Numerous worldwide studies have documented that regular exercise can improve mood and reduce stress levels. This may be because physical exertion burns up stress chemicals, and it also boosts production of mood-regulating neurotransmitters in the brain, including endorphins and catecholamines.
Anger is a complex emotion that can have a profound effect on you and the people around you. Anger can cause you to act in ways that you might not make you feel proud. Anger can even cause you to make mistakes that you might later regret. Anger can also become challenging to control at times and even can cause complications in your life, such as coping with it through using drugs or alcohol. If you do not wholly understand your anger, it can be that much harder to manage it.
Without the proper tools, anger can cause you to act out in more aggressive ways, therefore, causing a great deal of unrest. Anger is especially challenging to control and resisting the temptation to act out can be very trying. The first step to understanding anger is to learn how it can be considered as a secondary emotion.
Coming to terms with primary emotions can be challenging to manage. Emotions like grief, sadness, loss, embarrassment and uncertainty are all hard to feel. Because anger is easier to feel, it can distract you from experiencing and healing the pain you feel inside. Among the most triggering primary emotions is frustration. Frustration is often experienced when you are feeling helpless or out of control. Over time, this emotion can cause your mood to stew until reaching an angry state. When anger happens, you might respond to your frustration in ways that feel good at the moment but are likely not healthy. You might lash out at others while trying to regain control. 2ff7e9595c
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